Blog Post: Getting, Having and Closing a Networking Conversation

After a fun and highly engaging session at the recent Career Expo, I was prompted to share with the Jobing family (and that means you too) of learners and career seekers the key points from that session. So get your Word processors - or pencils and pens - ready, here we go.

First a little context.  Some may think these are suggestions for the job-seeker only. And this would put you at a serious disadvantage; not so much from a competitive stand-point as a relationship-building stand-point. You see, the mental framework of meeting with people only to receive something - a potential job - is what gets you exactly nowhere. And puts you at the disadvantage. Changing your mental framework; or your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes about what you're meeting ABOUT, raises your chances for success exponentially and improves the conditions for which you will build and maintain a relationship with someone else for a  much longer period than the one 'networking' meeting. Wouldn't it be nicer to reach out to the person in the future for something more informal, as friends, than opening and closing the door on that relationship under the pressure of them having to tell you where to get your next job?

And this leads us to a final note before getting started. I do know well, and many reading this blog understand intimately, the pressure and emotional pain of looking for a career. What is paradoxical about it all, is that patience - in mindset and in focus - impacts how we are in these 'networking' meetings. If our behavior is rushed, stressed, or hurried because all we want is a job NOW, our minds are not open to what other possibilities could be revealed to us in the conversation, good questions we could be asking are never asked (and the possibilities are never shown), and ultimately, we feel the contact we just met with was little help.  Remember, it isn't our new contact that is responsible for making that meeting successful and valuable - that responsibility lies with YOU!

So here are some tips to help you prepare for, get, have and close every networking - or what I like to call, relationship-building - conversation:

1. Know thyself:  Beyond your technical skills in accounting, project management or administration, what are your unique talents and strengths that make you shine? What have people told you you do really well? That you seem to have a knack for? Think about stories when you had to pull through something tough and oyou found by depending on these specific strengths, you did surprising well? List these and have stories to support why they make you different than anyone else. Whatever you do don't forget: Don't forget to talk about the benefits of those strengths.

1 (a). Okay, this is part of Knowing Thyself, but a little more detailed.  A set of questions will help you identify how your thoughts and emotions are impacting your behavior. And the last thing you don't want to be absolutely clear about is how you are perceived by the person sitting across the table from you. 

      - What are my thoughts as I think of having that big meeting with someone?

      - What are my emotions as those thoughts are playing in my head?

      - What physical changes happen as these emotions take place? (faster heart rate, sweating, nervous twitching, loss of eye contact?)

      - NOW, for a little inspiration, how do YOU feel when someone asks you for support or advice?

2. To be successful initiating, having and closing that conversation you've got to: 

   a. Outline why them? What about that person is unique and special for this meeting's purpose? Then what is the purpose for your meeting? BE SPECIFIC! And finally, why you?! (See #1 above)

  b. Present a clear and explicit message. If you've done your homework, you know exactly what how this person can be most helpful and you're stating that explicity to them. (If you're wrong, they'll correct you - but that's a good thing!)

  c. Engage them! Pay attention to nonverbal and verbal cues that tell you they are confused, rushed, not interested - and set a positive direction for the conversation. Leave them feeling good about helping you and looking forward to hearing about your progress.

Remember, the mentality isn't to use and abuse this person's influence or authority. It's to build a relationship, which brings me to "c -1":

  c-1. Don't be afraid to ask how YOU might help them. By this turn in the conversation, you've talked a little bit about you (Hopefully!!) and you've hopefully learned more about them. There may be something that you know about, circles that you travel in, or expertise that you could share to help them solve a tough challenge they are experiencing. If you don't ask you'll never know.

  d. Never leave without asking who - another two or three people - might be best able to help you in your quest.

3.  Map your networks.  This was a key exercise in our workshop. Why? Because we finished our PlayBook of Getting, Having and Closing our networking meetings by putting into writing WHO we were going to start and reach out to. This level of clarity is hard to run away from!  We put ourselves in the middle of a circle on a page. Then we identified groups and people in those groups who were already in our immediate circle. These are all people you can begin reaching out to, sharing your new venture with, and using the tips above to start building continuous success for yourself.

So there you have it.  These steps in the Playbook of Relationship-Building Success are effective in their simplicity, but mostly in their clarity. They help you eliminate the ambiguity of doing what may be an anxiety producing exercise (meeting someone new about our career search) and make it clear, focused and purposeful. This helps you (confidence-builder!) and your new contact move you forward in a genuine, successful and highly energizing way.

Onward and upward!
Tanya Goodwin-Maslach

Elevati, Inc