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Thank you all for reading and responding to the Fear of Success article.
It’s an interesting topic and I have done a little more research.
As I find out more, I’ll pass on the information to you.
An article written by Lazarus at www.Lazarus.com looks at some of origins of fear of success and came up with these:
We get mixed messages from childhood. Perhaps this happened to you too. I was told I could do anything I wanted to do, but didn’t receive the encouragement or praise for a job well done. When I did well it seemed it was expected more than celebrated. The disconnect between message and behavior led me to trust the behavior more than the message. Lazarus uses an example of hearing you can do anything, but then showing a bias against success; a disapproval of those who have money or negative behavior traits of successful people such as arrogance.
We have more opportunities to cope with failure than success. So true.
“Contractual agreements” with parents. Either your place in the family determines the labels you live to or the messages received from your parents. Lazarus uses the example of “I’ll never be better than my dad.”
Success can be scary because of the conflict it carries. “Once something is created, something else is destroyed.” Guilt of changing the current dynamics or the current order of things can keep us from moving forward. A great example is a significant weight loss and the changes than can occur in a marital relationship.
Success can create chaos and we are conditioned to want things to run smoothly.
A faulty motivation to be successful. For example, if someone wants to be successful to punish someone, vindicate a position or win approval. Pure motivations; being the best I can be, doing something that makes a difference in the world, contributing to a cause can be wonderful motivators to pursue success.
Negative and positive connotations of success. For example, success might give the connotation of being better than or entitlement to…. If these are negative connotations, it makes it scarier to think of success positively. And, if these are positive connotations, it is unrealistic to believe that success will make us better than someone else or more entitled.
So, consider how some of the messages you received contribute to your beliefs about success. Once examined, we can bring light to the faulty thinking and disregard some of the mixed messages we received. Onward and upward!
For more information, please contact me at suearth@yahoo.com
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